Whenever I discover something new there’s a huge part of me that wants to keep it a secret, but a tiny part that’s repeatedly screaming wants me to share it with other people. The latter usually wins over but most of the time I just get disappointed whenever I share what I discovered with other people. It’s like they don’t thank me enough, or they forget that it was me who introduced them to this thing. Or maybe I’m just the regular glory type of person. I want to be credited all the time, I want people to know that it was all because of me. But that’s just plain selfish because if it’s out there, it’s meant to be out there—It’s not my story, song, movie, whatever to gobble up and keep inside me, but the fact that I discovered it first along with other people scattered all over the world and that I discovered it first among my group of friends makes me feel like I own it. And the sad part is I don’t own it—I need someone to hear me out, my views, my preferences. But most of the time they ignore me and refuse to give me credit. Is it just me or I’ve gone blind?

perfect weather for blankets and musings

Pretty shitty when you’ve got no cloth to bury yourself in but the perfect accent to complete ~ze depressed moode. I’ve got a thing for cold and depressing weather…it makes me ponder on things I wouldn’t consider thinking of on a sunny day. It makes me more expressive, creative, less aggressive, calmer…peaceful. Does this happen to you too?